Got Consent?
What is consent?
Consent is, essentially, permission to engage in a sexual act with another person. It’s a way of saying “I want this.” Consent is important for all sexual acts – from kissing and touching to intercourse. In fact, it is a legal requirement.
How can consent be given?
Often, sex is thought of and portrayed as spontaneous and without discussion about each person’s needs, desires, and/or concerns. However, having a clear, open conversation will allow you and your partner(s) to reach an understanding of what everyone is comfortable with. A discussion of what you enjoy sexually, what you want and when you are comfortable with it happening will ensure that full consent has been given by all involved.
To be able to give – and receive – verbal consent, you must be in a sober state of mind.
Making Consent Sexy
Consent need not be a mood killer. It can be romantic or sexy, and be clear without being clinical. Some examples can include, May I kiss you? Where do you like to be touched? What are you up for tonight? Do you like this? This way, you know what your partner is comfortable with, and that they are ok with what is happening. Keep this dialogue open and ongoing.
Other things to consider:
* NEVER assume you have consent.
* NEVER take silence as consent.
* Respect the word “no” – if someone says “no” or is giving off other verbal or non-verbal signals that say they don’t want to continue, stop and resolve the situation.
* Consent can be withdrawn at any time. You or your partner may decide at any point that you are uncomfortable with a situation, and that’s ok.
* Make check-ins sexy too. Create an open dialogue with your partner during sexual activity – no matter what you’re engaging in – to make sure both people are comfortable and enjoying what you’re doing.
* If in doubt, ASK or STOP.